40 Things I Love

Mostly not things at all.

Thanks to Cyndi Rooney for inviting me to compile a list of 40 things I love. Though it was harder than I thought it would be, it stirred a surprising and welcome rush of gratitude, affection, and hope for the world.

I’d love to see the 40 Beloved Things of Jack Preston King, Adam Diabetic Cyborg, Joann Harris, Glenna Gill, Heather Burton, Sheila Mulholland, or any others in this community who are willing to take the time to play this deceptively simple game — it looks like a listicle but it’s much more if you ponder why you love these things.

Herewith, then, the loves of my life:

• That first cold clear day of fall, with the sky so blue that you can follow it into space, and the days in winter when you see that sky again.
• The scent of a baby’s head. Obviously.
• Music, of course — the right music, at the right time, at the right volume. Classical, classic rock, gospel; R & B — stuff like that. I don’t love music that assaults me from some random stranger’s car or from their apartment at 2 in the morning.
• Writing supplies, including fountain pens and odd notebooks. This one is required to be on the list.
• For advanced writing supplies, I also love LibreOffice, an open source program that freed me from Microsoft Office. For book-length projects, I love Scrivener. Mostly I just love the illusion that Microsoft doesn’t have me entirely in its clutches.

• So many of us include coffee on our list of loves, and so do I — but with caveats. I love that first taste of strong, creamy, sweet coffee that gets me out of bed. But within minutes, I am worried about stains on my teeth, coffee breath, and the effect on my blood sugar. So not all of my loves are unconditional, I suppose.
• Spreadsheets. Spreadsheets are amazing, even in the hands of a casual user like me. Why, they can add numbers all by themselves! And sort themselves instantly! And deal with both words AND numbers! I can’t do those things.
• Natural fiber clothing and linens — cotton, rayon, silk, wool, and bamboo — are all I want, because they breathe and drape and take dye so nicely. Also — true fact — wearing polyester makes me smell weird.
• My Best Couch Ever. Years ago, we bought my favorite couch ever, and I freely admit that my time on that couch is most rewarding. From this vantage point, we can select quality films, television, documentaries from around the world. Also binge-trash. I’m not proud.
• Mountains. Specifically the Rocky Mountains. More specifically, the Front Range, and most specifically the Garden of the Gods, a tiny miraculous city park for climbing and communing with wonders.

• I love having a clean car. I’d actually rather not have a car, but until I can give it up for good, I quite love it when the car is clean. Makes me feel adult and somehow taller.
• Cleaning things in general. It calms my mind, like an active meditation. Cleaning may or may not include purging belongings or purchasing new containers, depending on how anxiety-producing the news was that day.
• I love digging in the dirt sometimes. I’m not a true gardener, but it’s good for even us “indoorsy” types to get their hands in the earth once in a while. And then I get to go clean more things.
• I love the moment before a curtain goes up on a live theatrical production. I still recall the adrenaline rush of being on the other side of that curtain, preparing to enter a whole other world and persona for two hours. Now even from the audience, my heart races, I may cry a little, and I always and fervently hope the actors don’t muck it up.
• I do not love long walks on a beach. Walking on sand is awkward and makes my back hurt. I do love just sitting there for a time, watching the waves. But the depths of the ocean scare me, as they should anyone, so I’m usually not there for long.
• The incredible Gaudi architecture in Barcelona. But don’t be impressed; I’m not much of a traveler, so I’m not going to start listing all the wonders of the modern world that I, personally, have visited. My sour-grapes assessment is that most of them are now adjacent to a McRonald’s or a $tarbuck$, anyhow.

• So I travel mostly in my head, as a matter of fact — reading, learning, studying, writing. Basically, I love just playing around in my mind. On a good day, that is. On a not-so-good day, it can get a little sturm und drang-y in there, so I go back to cleaning things.
• I love school, and I have loved school since I first went. As a child, school was where I found structure and positive affirmation. For me, those notebooks and pens are really just school supplies all grown up.
• Feminist theology. If you have found yourself making points on a date by sagely noting that G*d is probably not biologically male, you can thank a feminist theologian.
• I have always loved imaginative literature — speculative fiction, fantasy — especially when it introduces ideas that later come true.
• These days, I also love factual literature: lyrical prose about the real world. I have been truly moved by books like Salt and The Wild Trees.
• I also love hidden miracles, even if they are merely accidents: for example, I love The Butterfly Alphabet, a gorgeous piece of art by Kjell B. Sandved. It shows how every letter of the alphabet can be found imaged in the wings of butterflies. I never get tired of looking at it.

“There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”

• Dancing alone. Because I hate crowds. And because there are few kinds of exercise I can really tolerate. And BTW, I was “dancing like no one is watching” before that song and before they did it on Grey’s Anatomy.
• Humor. Laughter. The thing that makes us human. I love stand-up comedy, irreverent perspectives, satire, jokes, generous and gentle but pointed commentary, and belly laughs shared with congenial people.
• Intense, meaningful, deep conversations with close friends, even when we’re not laughing.
• I’m in love with my husband, my family, our friends. I am trying to love the rest of the people in the world, too. That’s much harder, but still worth trying.
• The Boston Red Sox. I don’t care much about sports, but I love the Red Sox because my husband loves them. And because they are scrappy and humble.
• The color black. Black things in general have gravitas. Black is the best color for clothes. Black is the color of space.
• Flowy scarves are my latest affectation. I wear them with my black clothes. Please don’t judge me.

• I love boxes, even if having them means I have too much stuff.
• Bare floors without carpets. I can’t stop thinking about the dirt and germs that live in carpets.
• Avocados, and a few other good foods that haven’t been crapped up by over-processing.
• Trees. Humans and trees are perfect together. They breathe with us. They give us oxygen and we give them carbon dioxide.
• Good smells. I recently took back a face cream because I didn’t like the way it smells. I will probably wear Chanel #5 to my grave.
• A pair of shoes that actually don’t hurt, dammit. My feet are different sizes and difficult to fit. Does anyone else remember split-last shoe sizing? There would be a measurement for the front of the foot and another one for the heel. Only a few people make them now, so we make do.

Favorite tasteless shoe joke: “I wept that I had no shoes until I met a woman who had no credit cards.”

• Maps and globes. I have on my wall a lovely world map made with a Gall Stereographic Projection, which corrects some of the distortions other projections historically displayed. It reminds me that I still have a duty to this world and keeps my own problems in perspective. Africa is central on that map, and huge, and makes me long to go there.
• I love Jack Reacher, the character created by Lee Child who only owns one set of clothes at a time and keeps his toothbrush in his pocket. I want to be Jack Reacher some day, as soon as I can let go of all my boxes and flowy scarves. (With regard to the compact Tom Cruise playing this 6’5″ character in the movies, I have no comment.)
• I love what I call “good church,” which means any sacred space or divine encounter where I can feel uplifted, enlightened, and surrounded by a welcoming community.
• I love solutions that are simple, elegant, equitable, and straightforward. Explains why I find life frustrating much of the time.

That’s 39 things so far. Here is number 40:

I have saved the best for last, though I don’t know what to call it. I love this life, this consciousness, this firefly soul that is so tiny but dares to believe it is one with the stars. You can call it G*d if you want, or the Oversoul, or Infinite Love, or the Higher Power, or Bob. I will try to know what you mean.

For I am learning, in the world of love we are trying to write: if you want to know what I mean, you will know what I mean.