Please stop interrup —

The fierce urgency of [unintelligible]

My mother often interrupted me while I was talking to tell me not to interrupt others while they were talking.

Once I boldly responded that she had, in fact, interrupted me to tell me that. But only once, because my mother was not to be trifled with when imparting a non-negotiable Rule for Life.

So that’s another reason I avoid the news shows, with their phony “interviews” and “round-table” discussions. (Those shows should come with trigger warnings for anyone who had a mother who taught them manners.)

The guests are all sweaty and tense, wearing those brittle bar-fight grins, and no one can finish a sentence. No one.

Imagine if our best wisdom had been introduced on such a program:

“President Roosevelt, how can Americans find hope for the future?”

“First of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is — ”

“Oh — sorry—we’ll return after this commercial break.”

Fortunately, I have compiled a volume of the ends of all those sentences, so all that wisdom can now be yours.

I’d tell you how to get it, but — 200-word limit.