All Keyed Up

Another word mystery

A prominent individual said something critically important on television the other day, but I forget what it was. I just remember they said it was “key,” without any “the” or “a” or anything.

I hear this construction all the time, and it would be absolutely forgettable if it weren’t slightly annoying.

If someone tries to convince me an idea is vital by telling me it is “key,” without so much as an article in front of it, I’m immediately suspicious. If a concept is that much of a big shot, why doesn’t it even get a “the” to act as its wingman, or at least its summer intern?

“Precision is key!” they might declare.

“Oh, really,” I retort. “Can you be more specific?”

I focus like a laser: “Are you saying that precision is the key?”

“Or is precision merely one key among several keys? Well, which is it?”

I’m merciless. Then I deliver the coup de grâce.

To my mind, I say, precision isn’t “key” at all.

Lime pie. Now THAT’s key.